Forget Me Not flowers are given or used to decorate gifts with the hope the recipient will not forget their giver. They also symbolize faithfulness, love and memories.

On National Forget Me Not Day, Nov. 10, I’m asking a question. Is it better to forget past relationships completely, or remember them from time to time?

I can agree with both viewpoints. Getting over past relationships is tough. Breakups hurt, even when you’re the one who initiated it. In my past breakups, I rehash everything and think about things I could have done differently. But that’s dwelling on the negative, and it’s unhealthy. You can’t change the past.

Because of the hurt people feel over the break up, they’re tempted to not think about it and to erase it from their minds completely. While that might be a temporary solution, it can’t last. My advice? You have to face it to move on. If you’re blaming yourself for the relationship, forgive yourself. You shouldn’t smother your feelings, because ultimately, you can’t.

Remember the good times and the bad times, and learn from them. Be who you were before the relationship. If something fun comes up, take the opportunity to do it. Try new things, spend time with your friends. Your friends will always have your back in the case of a break up. Mine did, and I love them for it.

My last break up was a really hard one. He and I had been dating for about three months, but we’d known each other for a month before that. I kind of saw it coming, which made it worst. I thought I was ready. I thought I could take it. It was surprising how much it hurt. I’ll admit, I wanted to forget. It hurt. A lot. And staying away from it made it hurt less.

But I couldn’t help remembering. As I thought about our relationship, however, it helped me see through clearer eyes that we weren’t a good fit. We’d had our problems, we had our fights, but we also really liked each other. We had some good times and we were good friends before. And the mistakes that I made in this past relationship, and the things I didn’t like about it, I won’t let them happen again.

I hope my ex-boyfriend remembers me. I hope he learned something from me. If you didn’t learn something from a relationship, what good was it?

A friend of mine told me, “Don’t let your break up break you up.” This rings true. You’re not your past relationships. Whoever you are, you’re an amazing, beautiful, talented person. You’ll find someone special, who will see you as special. On this National Forget Me Not Day, don’t forget. Remember, but don’t regret.