To my family in Mexico,

Despite being separated, I see you everywhere.

To my older cousin, Ana: the breeze on a cool night reminds me of the evenings I would walk on the cracked pavement to the corner store outside your house. You might remember it as a chore, but holding your hand on the walk there made me feel loved.

To my grandparents, abuelita Carmen and abuelo Beto: passing by rose bushes reminds me of the sunny days I spent at your ranch watering the flowers on the porch. Listening to you tell me facts about each pot of flowers is a memory that brings me peace. Turning on the hose and watching the water spray surrounded by an empty field and pure silence mimics your absence, but reminds me of the warmth of your presence that was once therapeutic.

To my uncle Paco: busy streets remind me of the street vendors you took me to when we were hungry. I love how you were always willing to spoil me with food, no matter what. Since I don’t see you often, those outings taught me how to cherish every moment. You built up a large portion of my character — like my love for sports and my sense of humour.

To my baby cousins, Renata and Regina: listening to music in Spanish reminds me of how I would sing and dance to nursery rhymes with you. I was able to let loose in those moments and forget about everything bothering me. Nothing mattered then, holding your round faces in my small hands was enough to distract me from whatever was wrong. You’re not babies anymore, and I can’t even recall what you looked like without a photo to go with the memories.

To everyone: I miss singing songs with you, watering flowers with you, sharing meals with you, holding your hand and feeling the warmth of your presence. I yearn to be back, but what ultimately keeps me grounded is the sunset.

Every evening, the sunset is painted with different hues of orange, red and blue. The pretty pinks and reds remind me of the lovely memories I made, while the purples and blues are my longing to be with you again. Even though it’s painful, it creates a beautiful painting in the sky. I can choose to see the dark night sky dawning on me, or I can turn west and enjoy the rest of the sunset. 

The circumstances of our lives block us from being together physically, but no boundary can get in the way of how much I care about you.

I’m glad we share the same sunset. 

Love,

Dani