It was the last day of my sophomore year. 

I stood in front of my counselor’s door, hovering over the piece of paper that would change the trajectory of my life — it would allow me to skip a grade. 

I was sitting in advisory when my teacher told us it was time to select our courses for next year. I was fascinated about what junior year would hold for me. As I looked through the classes, I realized I had already earned most of the required credits needed to graduate. Then, it occurred to me — as much as I was scared to realize it — that I might be able to become a senior the next school year.

Before entering high school, I lived in Arkansas where I was given the opportunity to attend the No. 1 school in the state. Since my school was prestigious, it was easier to get ahead. I was able to take three out of the four math credits needed to complete high school and one science credit before even beginning my freshman year.

I grew up in a small town, where everyone knew everyone, and after two years of being virtual due to COVID-19, I moved to Dallas. My grandpa had recently passed away and I was never able to be close to him. So, my family moved to live closer to our extended family after realizing how important loved ones are. In my previous school, there were only 70 students in my grade. After the move, I transitioned to a new high school with nearly 1,000 students, knowing absolutely no one. During my freshman year, I struggled making friends because the school was still going through a pandemic – I had not been surrounded by people in over a year. I didn’t understand Texas’ school systems, what receiving a “class rank” was or what the STAAR test was. 

I felt lost.

The majority of my freshman year was filled with loneliness and anxiety, as I never felt connected to anyone. I dreaded going to school and would cry on Sunday evenings, knowing I would have to repeat the week over again. I had always loved going to school and had friends in middle school, but high school was the opposite. I would constantly wish that my family had never moved – even though I now get to grow up with my cousins – so that I could have had a better high school experience with people who I shared experiences with and grew up with. 

When sophomore year came around, I began to feel more comfortable. I joined the newspaper staff and started making friends who would soon become some of my closest. I was finally able to come out of my shell and use my voice through my writing. As I went on school trips, joined clubs and won awards, I started to finally find my niche. Newspaper became a safe place for me, one where I could be myself and not feel judged. 

When I was given the chance to graduate early last January, I thought it was something I would never do. My sister, who I have always looked up to, had also graduated early just two years ago. But I didn’t want to leave my friends, teachers and the newsroom behind. I was scared of having to repeat the whole process of making myself feel comfortable again on an even bigger campus. 

Since I had mentioned to my mom about how I had only a few credits needed to graduate, she sat me down and suggested the idea of graduating early. She thought it would be the best fit for me. At first, I did not understand why moving schools, once again, would be good for me; however, the more I thought about it, the more the idea of being able to have a fresh start — one with no isolation and without my high school past — appealed to me.

Becoming a senior in such a short amount of time was one the most stressful decisions I have ever endured. Immediately having to fill out college applications and ask for recommendation letters after just turning 16 was something I was not ready for. There were so many times I struggled to balance having a junior mindset while, on paper, being a senior, and I did not know what to tell people when they asked me what grade I was in. There were many times when I questioned if skipping a grade was something I truly wanted to do.

I was told by many people that graduating early was not a good idea and that I should experience high school in its entirety, but I realized that those events or traditions that students have to participate in to fit in or live that “high school life” aren’t for everyone.  For me, events like Homecoming and Friday night football games were fun, but the future is something that makes me even more excited, knowing I could have freedom and take classes in college that I enjoy earlier. 

After months of staying up late and living a double life of finishing up my junior credits and applying to college, I realized the only thing that kept me going during this stressful time was my social circle. My family and friends were my support system throughout this whole process, and I thank them for the countless shoulders I was able to lean on and the amount of cliche sayings I was told. 

When applying to the University of Texas at Austin (UT), I was fearful of not getting into my major. I applied to the Moody School of Communications for Journalism, which is ranked No. 5 in the world for communications and media studies. When checking my status and seeing “Congratulations, Eyesha Sadiq to Class of 2028 for Journalism in the Moody School of Communications,” I knew I had made the right decision. 

I plan to major in journalism and psychology, so I can help people find their voices. I know how it feels to be in a room full of people and feel like you can’t say a word to any of them. I want to make a difference in our society and focus on the importance of mental health. Society doesn’t care about the adversity people face, only the success they make, and that is devastating. There are so many children, minorities and people who should have their voices heard, and I will try my hardest to help those who need it the most through journalism. 

Since my senior year is only a couple of months away from ending, I can’t wait for prom and to finally graduate early after thinking I would never be able to. I think this school year has taught me more about who I am. Freshman me wouldn’t be able to recognize today’s Eyesha, who is leaving her home early, who was able to make new friends and who was able to come to school without having to feel anxiety. I finally have found myself – after all these years – and although it’s bittersweet to leave Hebron and most of my friends behind, I can’t wait to see what Austin holds for me. 

Traveling my entire life, I have always felt lost and have never felt like I belonged. I have finally found my inner self in this journey, and although leaving the nest early was a big leap of faith, I’m so proud of who I’ve become. 

I’m now “Gone to Texas.”