Two soft taps drummed on her leg — so soft, she wasn’t sure if she felt them. She looked up at the referee as he nodded.
She had just won her competition.
In that moment, senior Athena Miller felt like time froze. She couldn’t hear anything. Before she knew it, she was sobbing happy tears in her instructor’s arms.
Thank you, Jesus. Athena thought. Thank you so much for giving me the strength to win.
Athena has been training in Jiu-Jitsu for over a year and a half to fight off her depression and anxiety, which prohibited her from being able to go outside at times. She said she’s devoted herself more to Christianity and that engaging in the two has completely turned her life around.
“Jiu-Jitsu has raised my confidence, and I haven’t been as scared to go outside anymore,” Athena said. “If I do get scared, I just take a moment to breathe, pray to God and clear my mind.”
In 2020, Athena grew depressed. She said she started to lose friends to drama, and had a death in the family.
“It was really rough for me because my friends were always dealing with other stuff,” Athena said. “I felt so lonely, and I felt like I didn’t fit in.”
She said she didn’t have the inspiration to get out of bed most days, and cried when she had to come back to school after quarantine. She took different pills hoping something would change, but it didn’t.
“I hated being at school,” Athena said. “I hated talking to people. I would text my mom, constantly asking, ‘Can you just take me home?’ while I’d be crying in class. I had to leave school all the time.”
Athena also struggled with random bursts of anxiety, which she said interrupted vital moments in her life. It became difficult for her to complete daily tasks or enjoy vacations properly. Her throat would close up, and she would get lightheaded, shaky and dizzy.
“I was on a lot of medicine,” Athena said. “I didn’t like to go out places. I didn’t like to do stuff. In sophomore year, my anxiety was affecting me so bad. I hated the way my own skin felt on me because I was so irritated. I was freaked out.”
Athena said she hated being in crowds because she felt defenseless. She didn’t like the concept of someone being behind her, because she could never watch anyone from all angles. When she got into Jiu-Jitsu a year and a half ago, though, that changed.
”It is the best community I’ve ever joined,” Athena said. “It’s all about discipline: you go in there knowing you’re going to get beat up. Then you get back up, and you have to do it again, again and again.”
Athena has believed in God since she was a little kid, having taught youth groups and going to church.
“I truly feel like God put those people in my life,” Athena said. “He gave me the opportunity to do Jiu-Jitsu because of how depressed I was. The people there were so kind, and I felt like I finally fit into some place, somewhere.”
Athena’s father, Jeff Miller, is a former police officer, and has always encouraged her to do something athletic. In the past, she tried both swimming and volleyball, but Jiu-Jitsu is what stuck.
”It changed her life,” Jeff said. “Her confidence has gotten so much better. She’s not afraid to speak her mind. She used to slouch — now she stands straight up.”
About six months ago, Athena earned her blue belt, just two days after winning her first competition. When it was time for her competition on Nov. 16, she looked up to God.
”I remember praying to God beforehand,” Athena said. “I said, ‘please give me your strength’ and ‘thank you for all of the opportunities you’ve given me,’ and ‘I hope I can put this one to use.’”
Two days later, she received her blue belt for winning the competition. Athena now partakes in a club called “Jiu-Jitsu and Jesus” where they practice Jiu-Jitsu techniques, pray to God and study the Bible.
“I want to go into the military when I grow older,” Athena said. “And I feel like Jiu-Jitsu is just one step of the way there. I am going to continue with it — especially through college. I know God has a plan for me, and that’s what I hold close. It makes me want to keep going.”