Moving forward
Senior Jacy Marmaduke had talked to Madie and Brandon before, but they didn’t know each other very well. Word had spread that Madie was pregnant, and Marmaduke decided to interview her and Brandon about the teen pregnancy. The story would be an in-depth feature and would appear in the newspaper as one of the top stories. The interview with Madie was in the Starbucks off of Hebron. Madie was nervous about her interview with Marmaduke. She was still unsure whether to do the story or not, but after talking to Marmaduke about the focus being on her experience, she felt comfortable enough to tell her life.
“It took me a really long time to tell anybody [that I was pregnant,]” Madie said. “I was scared of what people would think or say. I remember people telling me that I was a slut, and that broke my heart because I did something that a lot of other people were doing; I just [happened] to get pregnant.”
The printed version of the story came out on April 20, 2011. Madie couldn’t believe her eyes. In big bold words on the front page read, “Sophomore Madie Mckasson and Brandon Van Kuilenburg won’t let their age hold them back as they enter the world of parenthood.”
“I thought it was just going to be a really small segment; I wasn’t even really sure how it was going to be presented,” Madie said. “When I saw [that the story had] come out [on the] front page, centerfold — I was shocked. I was honored in the sense that it was an important enough story that they felt it worthy, but I was also a little fearful of the kickback that would come.”
Most people knew about her pregnancy, as Madie had already given birth when the story came out. While it was hard for her to even admit the pregnancy to her mother, Barri Lynn Mckasson, Madie already began posting pictures on Facebook and Instagram of Skylar.
“It’s good to make kids aware of these issues,” Barri Lynn said. “I get so choked up about [the story] because it’s been a long journey, and I just love her so much. I always tell Madie how proud I am of her, but the fact that [others] say [their proud]: I just love that.”
Once the story hit the school newspaper, everyone around Madie knew of her pregnancy. However, with the story out in the open, she and Brandon faced backlash.
“That’s whenever I got the biggest judgment,” Brandon said. “Everyone knew before that [story] came out, and I think it was more of a shock to the teachers. The teachers were the ones that gave us the most judgment.”
Some teachers and parents thought the story glorified teen pregnancy; however, Madie said that was never the case.
“I just wanted to be raw about what it was really like,” Madie said. “Whether that’s to help someone that it does happen to or to shine a light on it so people are more careful.”
Her period was late and she wasn’t on birth control. Madie realized that she might be pregnant despite having no morning sickness or pains, but Brandon and her decided to buy a pregnancy test anyway. All five tests read positive.
“It didn’t feel real,” Madie said. “I had no idea how I was going to tell my parents. There was already a lot going on so just the idea of adding more to the mix was terrifying.”
Madie’s mom knew something was happening when Brandon came over. Barri Lynn was standing in the living room with her three other children when Madie came peeking over the stairs. Barri Lynn went away from the other kids to see Madie and said, “you’re pregnant, aren’t you?”
“I was devastated because she was 15 years old,” Barri Lynn said. “She was my first baby, and she [was] so young. I told the other kids to go upstairs, and she felt so disappointed, like she had really disappointed me. I told her, ‘you know things happen Madie, I love you more than anything, it’s OK [and] we’re gonna get through this.’”
Barri Lynn wasn’t ashamed of Madie, and told her she understands things like this happen. She didn’t know how far along her daughter was in her pregnancy, and while Barri Lynn doesn’t agree with abortion, she knew this was ultimately Madie’s decision to make.
“I didn’t want to shame her because Madie’s so good,” Barri Lynn said. “All my beliefs were to never have an abortion, but at that very moment I thought to myself, ‘what do I do, what do I do, what do I do?’”
Wade Mckasson, Madie’s father, wanted her to put the child up for adoption. He didn’t allow Barri Lynn to talk to her for two weeks after finding out about Madie’s pregnancy because he wanted Madie to give the baby up for adoption.
“My parents [had] to grieve or accept the fact that I wasn’t a little girl anymore, and I think that was the hardest part for them,” Madie said. “My dad got on board after a couple months and was super supportive; he loved me.”
Due to being pregnant, Madie had to quit volleyball and track. She planned on playing volleyball after high school, but knew it was no longer an option given her circumstances. She told the coaches she had to leave the team for family reasons, but now said she wishes she would have told them the truth.
“I have always been involved in sports, and looking back, I wish I would’ve gotten back into it,” Madie said. “But, it felt like I couldn’t and I didn’t want to waste that time with [Skylar]; it felt selfish to go play a sport when I could be home with her.”
It became increasingly hard for Madie to attend Hebron while pregnant, and she talked to her counselor at the time about alternative options. She could either be homeschooled or transferred to The Lewisville Learning Center. She decided it was best to still attend school publicly and transfer during her second semester.
“Typically, when we have visions for our life, it’s a selfish one,” Madie said. “It should be, you’re doing something for yourself, but when you have a child, [they] have to be your priority. It’s not what’s best for you, [but] it’s what’s best for them.”
The center offered birthing classes that both Brandon and her would attend together and educational classes about pregnancy and parenting. While staying there, she was able to meet and relate to other teen moms in similar situations, some of whom she still follows on Facebook.
“It felt good to be in a community with other girls going through the same thing,” Madie said. “I know if I would’ve stayed at Hebron during that time, it would’ve been very difficult to walk through the hallways.”
Comments were said to Madie during this time to discourage her pregnancy. One time, Madie decided to attend Brandon’s baseball game while pregnant and despite the stares, she attempted to keep her focus on the game. However, a past friend’s parent approached her and criticized Madie for her teen pregnancy.
“I told her ‘thank you for your opinion, but it’s really none of your business,’” Madie said. “I’m not your child, it’s not for you to worry about.”
Skylar was born on April 5, 2011.
“I wasn’t a little girl anymore,” Madie said. “I was very lucky I didn’t have any postpartum depression [and] I was very blessed not to have a [cesarean section], so my body was able to recover pretty quickly.”
The labor had no complications other than some epidural problems. However, Madie started to notice the stretch marks on her body that other girls her age didn’t have. She said it was never an insecurity, but rather curiosity of how different her body could have looked.
“Being young and seeing your body change like that so fast, it definitely [has] an impact on your mental health,” Madie said. “You see other friends and peers that don’t have those same changes. I’ve grown to love it, but it was kind of sad to never see what my body would have looked like as a woman before having a baby. That happens a lot when you expect to live a certain life and something happens, you look back and kind of think, ‘what if?’”
To simulate the reality and difficulties of being a parent, Barri Lynn would have Brandon stay over and sleep on the couch while she would sleep with Madie and have them take care of Skylar together.
“I was worried about them going off and starting a whole family,” Barri Lynn said. “[Keeping Skylar] was very mutual. It was never a pressure on either part as far as letting Skylar go.”
After transferring to the Lewisville Learning Center in her sophomore year, then finishing out the rest of the year at home, Madie came back in-person for her junior year.
“Imagine studying and cramming for tests as a normal student, but on top of that you’ve got a child, “ Madie said. “Maybe [Skylar] didn’t sleep well [one] night, then [I’m] up all night. It’s mentally and physically exhausting, and on top of that, trying to get good grades as well.”
Madie was able to graduate with Brandon in 2012 after attending an accelerated program at the Lewisville Learning Center. The two decided to break things off during their freshman year of college.
“I wanted things to work with Madie,” Brandon said. “I come from a split family, and it was pretty difficult growing up, packing a bag between mom and dad. My whole mission once we decided to keep [Skylar] was to marry Madie. Obviously, that changed, [because] we grew apart.”
After the two broke up, Madie still received help and support from Brandon, family and friends. They decided to attend college near one another to stay close and help raise Skylar.
“We’ve [had] a lot of support from our family, which led me into being able to do a lot of things I’ve done to raise [Skylar] as well as I have,” Madie said. “I’m very blessed because I know girls, mothers and women [who] don’t have that same level of support.”
Madie and Brandon decided against handling Skylar’s custody legally, and instead, created a system for how long she’ll stay at the other parent’s residence. For the past year and a half, Skylar has mainly lived with Brandon.
“With co-parenting, my biggest fear was what I had to go through, where things are one way at mom’s and things are one way at dad’s,” Brandon said. “It’s definitely been a challenge over the past 12 years.”
Madie wanted to play volleyball in college, join a sorority and major in business at her dream school: The University of Los Angeles. However, she chose to stay close to Skylar and instead attended Collin College for two years.
“When you become a parent, you want to be there for all [your child’s] moments, but when you’re a teen parent, you can’t,” Madie said. “You’re not able to be the mom that you wanted to be or envision being at some point in your life. It’s not really about what you want to do, it’s about what you have to do.”
Madie said there was no other place she would rather be than next to her daughter, but it was tough to watch everyone around her move on with their lives, go to college and live out the dreams she once had for herself.
“When you have a child, [they become] your priority,” Madie said. “Seeing people doing stuff I wanted for myself, there was a part of me that was envious, jealous [and] angry. [But] those moments were just moments.”
Before having Skylar, Brandon didn’t care for academics. He said having Skylar made him realize how important school is and motivated him to be the first person in his family to attend college. Brandon was able to graduate from the University of North Texas in 2017.
“[I] constantly thought ‘What if?’” Brandon said. “What if I gave her up for adoption or what if I end up like most of the dads where they bail out of the kid’s life — go off and pursue my dreams? [Skylar] definitely made me who I am. Everything [I] do is fueled around [my children,] [and] it gave me a new passion.”
While working at a restaurant named Jasper’s, Madie met Ricky Walton in October of 2012. They were friends, and although Madie wanted more, she prioritized her daughter first before committing herself to a significant other.
“Our relationship was very slow in the beginning,” Madie said. “I was trying to figure myself out, [raise] a child and [go] to school. We were both on the same page, as far as the fact that we really cared for each other, but we weren’t ready to settle down.”
Their relationship became serious in 2015. Ricky didn’t meet Skylar for a long time because Madie wanted to be cautious about their relationship, but, eventually, he came into Skylar’s life when she was two and a half years old.
“[I knew he was the one] seeing how he handled understanding me being a mom, and that my daughter is a priority,” Madie said. “I can’t give everything to a relationship when my daughter needs me, and him understanding that and being OK with that was huge for me.”
Brandon got married to Hailey Nix on March 9, 2019. The two dated for six months before Brandon proposed. Currently, they have a 2-year-old son named Owen, and Hailey is pregnant with their daughter, Ivy Kate.
“[Skylar] and [Hailey] have a really special bond,” Brandon said. “I love [their bond]; it makes me feel I’ve made the right decision. It’s definitely a gift.”
Ricky proposed to Madie on January 1, 2022, in Breckenridge, Colorado, with the help of Skylar. The three took a horse-drawn carriage up the mountain, and once they reached the top – overseeing the lights – Ricky took out the ring and got down on one knee.
“I felt like we were ready for [marriage],” Madie said. “We both wanted to make sure we were in the right mindset and state in our lives. When he proposed, I was just excited and giddy. I was ready to spend the rest of my life with him.”
In preparation for the wedding, gift boxes were made for each bridesmaid with goodies and a slip of paper containing each bridesmaid’s name and role in the wedding. Madie handed the gifts to everyone across a large dinner table and allowed everyone to open their boxes. Skylar’s eyes lit up, and she began crying.
“My [paper slip] said maid of honor, ” Skylar said. “I was nervous because that’s a lot of responsibility, [but] I felt very important and loved by her for picking me in that special [moment].”
On Dec. 31, 2023, Mckasson became Walton.
“[Skylar] gave a speech and everything at the wedding, and it was so cute,” Madie said. “I knew I wanted her to be my maid of honor because she knows me so well. She brings me so much peace and I really wanted her to be there that day as my right-hand lady. She’s my little heart.”
Although Skylar said she wishes to have seen her parents together, she knows this is for the better. She loves each family deeply, and has made connections with each extended parent.
“Obviously every kid wants their mom and dad to be together if they have divorced parents,” Skylar said. “When I was younger, I always wanted my mom and dad to be together, but I learned as I got older that my [parents] were very different.”
While Madie is very grateful for Skylar, she doesn’t recommend teen pregnancy.
“There’s so many different ways to live life that can be beautiful and fulfilling,” Madie said. “There’s a lot that goes on in your mind emotionally, and I wish I would’ve been able to enjoy pregnancy a little bit more and not be so fearful and stressed up. I wish I would’ve known that everything was going to be OK.”
One of the leading causes of teen pregnancy is the lack of information about sexual and reproductive health and rights. Back in 2011, Madie said it wasn’t talked about in schools, and that most students’ understanding of it was what was shown on the reality television show, “Teen Moms.”
“Teen moms are put into a box,” Madie said. “Statistically, there’s a lot of assumptions that are made, and I think [teen pregnancy] looks a lot different for a lot of different people.”
Barri Lynn said she wishes there was more sexual education taught to students.
“I think sometimes we’re so willing to hand out condoms, [but] what are [kids] going to get on the other end of it?” Barri Lynn said. “We’re kind of leaving [students] in the dark. [Sex] isn’t what life is about, there’s got to be more [to] it.”
There were many sacrifices Brandon and Madie had to make for themselves and their daughter: not going away to college out of state, quitting extracurriculars, figuring out child care and managing finances.
“There’s so many things that you don’t think about [while] just taking care of yourself,” Madie said. “But, when you have another person, there’s so much more to think about. And, you can’t drop the ball.”
Barri Lynn wishes Madie would have come to her first before being intimate with Brandon, and encourages teenagers to talk to their parents more often and abstain from sex because as soon as Madie got pregnant, Barri Lynn had to realize she wasn’t her little girl anymore.
“I gained a granddaughter, but I lost my daughter,” Barri Lynn said. “I saw my daughter lose her childhood. [I] miss the innocence, but that happens any time a child has sex. She wasn’t my little girl anymore, and I mourned that.”
If teenagers do happen to get pregnant, Barri Lynn wants them to know that their life isn’t ruined.
“You do sacrifice a lot, but if you do [get pregnant,] there is promise,” Barri Lynn said. “Just because you get pregnant doesn’t mean your life is over. There are success stories out there, and we’re one of them.”
Brandon said there weren’t many support groups around for teen fathers, therefore he felt very alone during this time. However, leaving Skylar was never an option for him. Brandon said he didn’t want a reputation of being a typical teen father, because that’s not who he is.
“The narratives are not bright for the [teen] dads,” Brandon said. “It’s different for the [teen] girls; they get a little more sympathy. Especially when we broke up, I was the guy who derailed her plans. I got [a lot] of criticism from others and that fueled me.”
Through a nonprofit organization, Journey to Dream, Madie has done testimonial speeches about her experience with teen pregnancy at middle schools and high schools to spread awareness. She has connected with individuals in the same or similar situations.
“[The pregnancy] made me really confident in who I am and also having faith in the path,” Madie said. “I might not [have felt] like life is where it was meant to be, but I’ve got a really good life. I’m happy, I’m in love and I have a fantastic daughter. I had faith in not giving up.”
